A recent study shows that today men are more concerned about keeping their marriages in a good shape ...not because they love their wives or they cannot see their kids without a father...but because of the high child support amount that they have to arrange for after the divorce.

This way, financial repercussions make men sticking to a relationship and not wander out of their marriages to seek out fun or pleasure of any kind. Earlier it was that women used to drag a relationship even though it was suffocating for them to do so, because of the fear of bearing the financial costs, but after the introduction of a formal child support system, women no more drag a relationship and walk out of it as soon as things start taking a bad shape.

So this means that it is just the monetary hassles that is keeping men in the relationship...is it the only factor that is stopping them from moving out, if it is stopping them in any way. Because the reality tells an altogether different tale...where one can find so many fathers moving out of the relationship and often failing to provide for child’s support...and amid all this the children become the greatest sufferers at the hands of their own parents.11292

Comments

Hatridge | Mar 4 2006

I was doing some cleaning-out in the basement today and I found a letter my daughter wrote to me when she was away at college. 21 years of age.

I divorced her mother when our daughter was seven.

”Muriel,” my daughter, and I were so close. I loved her and she loved me. Dads and daughters have a special bond similar to that of Moms and sons.

I was young at the time of the divorce and my wife was younger. She was only 18 when she had Muriel and I was 22; we were married in 1972 as a result of the pregnancy. I really thought we could be happy together. We had dated exclusively for two years, and it seemed the right thing to do — to get married.

Like I said, Muriel and I were as close as any dad and daughter could be. I swore to myself I’d stay close all of her life.

I never thought about her mom marrying someone who would be a problem. And, I never thought about myself marrying someone who would be a problem.

Bottom line: The divorce hurt my daughter very badly. For years. My new wife (with two daughters) hated Muriel and Muriel hated her.

I was married to #2 for nearly 15 years. Big mistake.

The best news is that my third wife is wonderful. We love being together as much as possible. She loves my daughter and vice versa. Muriel and I have come a long way since she was 21.

Divorce is too easy.

If I had it all to do over again? I’d suck it up. I’d be the dad that experienced all of those things that his kid does right into adulthood. I’d appreciate her mother, my wife, for all the right reasons. If that failed, I’d take comfort knowing that my daughter didn’t hurt for a minute because her mom and dad divorced...even though she’d know that her mom and I weren’t very loving.

I’d take the hit. And I’d save her from taking it. Hey! That ain’t so bad!

Reply to this comment

Erin Noah | Aug 18 2009

I appreciate this comment. My husband and I kind of did the same thing. We dated for 2 years, became engaged and got pregnant very shortly after that. I was 19 when I had my daughter, he was 20. He went through a bad divorce with his mom and dad when he was 8, and both his parents remarried people who made his life miserable for typical reasons. Its very hard for us to have a loving relationship sometimes. He is so badly damaged, still at 23 and I am the one who gets the brunt of it! Plus all the other ”normal” marriage problems. Point is, I like the point that you made at the end. I would rather get our daughter through to adulthood having two parents than having to deal with any more drama than we already make. Thanks for sharing your story!