Women Life Style

Are you ready for this one? A recent study conducted in the US has revealed that men are fonder of romantic movies than originally suspected.

Richard Harris, a professor of psychology at the Kansas State University surveyed 250 men and women where the couples were required to watch a romantic movie together. They were asked give the movie a rating from 0-7, 7 being the highest.

Men were found to have rated the films about 4.8-which is much higher than expected, while the average score given by the women was around 6.

Professor Harris said of the survey:

Everyone thinks that women like romantic movies and that they drag guys along to them.

What was significant was that the guys also liked the movies, and that the choice to view a romantic movie was usually made together as a couple, not just by the girl.

There are a lot of men who go to these romantic movies and enjoy them. I wouldn’t write off the male audience just because it is a romantic film. I would suggest marketing to the men in the audience.

Has also said movie studio executives should put aside stereotypes about “chick flicks” and recognize the fact that there is a moderate interest among men in romantic movies.

Hmmm... you don’t have to drown yourself in guilt pangs for having ruined his afternoon next time your man sulks about having to watch a mushy flick, now that you know that he likes it better than he says!!

Via: buzzsugar

So I haven’t even reached 25 yet but I can already see that I’m going to have to do something to freeze my appearance at that age forever. Because somehow the message going around so strongly out there is that you cannot age and live a happy life.

I find that hilarious and exasperating at the same time because I remember that hardly three years ago I was dying to grow up. It just shocks me that in three years from now, I’ll be dreading growing up anymore.

Sounds insane? It probably is.

And what’s even more insane is the pressure on the women of all ages to look like they just turned 23. I mean what is so morally wrong about being over thirty, or even forty?

Not getting what I’m trying to get at?

Take a look around. All the billboards have pictures of 14-year old skinny tarts screaming out how being young is the only way you’ll be considered pretty, how being thin is the only gauge of your sexiness, how if you don’t look ready to appear for the miss universe pageant, you’re not worthy of being called a human being.

Seriously when was the last time you heard Andie McDowell saying ‘I don’t need to glop my face with ridiculously expensive anti-aging treatments, because I’m happy with my natural middle aged self, AND I’M STILL WORTH IT’?

Have you noticed, that of the 20-21 years Oprah has been on TV, at least a good decade worth of her shows focused on her weightgain/weightloss and she still obsesses about it every other show? That when she is the richest female entertainer and one of the most influential and easily recognizable people in the world.

And why aren’t there any old female celebs and icons around?

All the Madonnas and the Demi Moores of the world are way too busy twisting and torturing their bodies so they don’t look their age. Why is it that when Bruce Willis, Mel Gibson and Pierce Bronson get crows feet its sexy, but when Meryl Streep starts showing a few lines on her face we switch to rhetoric mode and talk about how graceful she ’still’ looks? Why isn’t there a website called www.judi_dench_is_hot.com?

Why exactly are we going along with this facade that’s making us dread natural aging?

Why can’t we let women be comfortable going into middle-age these days?

Why is there so damn much pressure on us to look good all the time?

Everyone is quick to lay the blame on the wretched media. True, media does project a very strong image about the aesthetics of beauty. But I suppose the problem lies within ourselves, in our own attitude and in the standards we accept for beauty.

But think about it. If the African-American people continued to buy into the notions of white-western beauty, black would never have been beautiful. And if we did not iconize Jennifer Lopez’s sumptuous behind, Beyonce would still be stuck with her head down the loo trying to shed weight and the term ‘bootilicious’ wouldn’t even exist.

So can we not make being middle-aged fashionable too?

And I’m not talking about the creepy way most celebs with botox-frozen faces, surgically lifted God-knows-what-not with paid-trainer buffed bodies and really, really expensive ensembles are.

How about a natural and real middle aged female icon, something like the late Princess Grace of Monoco, or Camilla Parker-Bowles or even Hillary Clinton and Angela Merkel, or maybe Oprah without her weight obsession and makeup (she looks good even without the layers of face-paint and product-infused hair. I’ve seen it on her show)!

I believe there are more important things in life than perfectly set hair and nails.

But somehow we seem to prefer someone having a bad attitude with the ‘perfect look’ over an amiable person with the wrong shoes. It’s like somehow being insulted publicly by Paris Hilton is more acceptable than being seen with your overweight wife.

I completely agree with author Lauren booth as she observes that:

It’s just a pity so many women of 40 are scared of showing off how much they have achieved, without feeling they have to pretend their beauty is still only skin deep.
You resolve to spend the rest of your life denying or delaying time - or you resolve to enjoy it.

And I join her in asking:

Why does there have to be such a terror of becoming a little dowdy? Why should we be cowed by the fearsome modern pressure - promulgated by the media and a host of horribly glossy celebrities - to look fantastic all the time?

Can’t we learn to treat our gradual slide from sex kitten to drowsy old tabby as proof that we are supremely confident in ourselves, our friendships, our partners and our sex lives?

Can’t we re-train ourselves to realize that our self-esteem does not have to be bound up in the way we look?

I just hope that by the time my fortieth birthday comes around, you get to show off the lines on your face with pride. However, to perceive this clearly, you need loads of wisdom, apparently for which you’ll have to pay a heavy price, i.e. ‘AGE’.

What else is a Russian girl to do if eligible bachelors are hard to come by? And please don’t be offended, because in Russia, being called a bitch means you are neither vociferous nor imprudent. Quite simply it refers to a woman who is sedate, manipulative, and aware of her sexuality and uses these traits to get her own way.

For the uninitiated, Bitchology is the theory, practice and technique of being successful in a man’s world. You get what you want by pretending to be weak. And how do you become a successful ‘bitch’? Well, just put your will power, self-confidence and feminine ‘grace’ to good use.

And at this Russian ‘bitch school’, run by Vladimir Rakovsky, a motivational speaker, and his wife, Yevgenia, Russian ladies learn the essentials of getting that competitive edge they need to snare a man, or even get their own partners to come around.

According to Rakovsky:

A bitch should be strong and self-confident but should remember to use feminine wiles, such as her attractiveness and, whenever useful, she should try to come across as a helpless creature.

The couple holds classes during the night twice a week. After the initial lectures, the women learn to use their sexuality to attract the most astute men. The ’school of seduction’ apparently teaches the ladies how to flaunt their sexuality without going OTT.

The final lesson teaches the nuances of effective striptease.

I guess these classes really do work because the ‘bitch school’ is only getting popular by the day.

Via: love-lectures

Hillary Clinton is coming all out prepared to take the race for the Presidentship to the the hilt. And as expected she is playing the mom card to soften her image up in the eyes of the voting public.

The telegraph notes:

Senator Clinton has begun repeatedly referring to herself as a mother, with the particular experience that entails, since declaring herself ‘in’ for the presidential race last weekend. She has described her daughter and husband as her closest advisers...It was a point she drove home yesterday [in Iowa].

Politicians are known to use whatever it is that will set them apart from the other candidates and still keep their image squeaky clean for the public.

Senator Clinton however has a reputation for being cold and calculating. The 59-year old has also has to deal with suggestions of having been the shadow president when her husband, Bill Clinton, was in power.

But is it wrong on her part to use her daughter to soften up her image? I mean we have all seen George Bush’s ‘keeping-it-real-Texas-style’ show and Arnie’s ‘I’m-no-politician’ do already.

So if you can stand Tony Blair fake-smiling and posing with all his (how many exactly does he have?) children, you ought to be able to take Hillary gushing about her experiences as a mom.

Besides I really want it come down to her and Rice in the end. That would be a contest for all the media buffs (diabolic grin on my face!), wont it? About time a woman took over the US ’cause the men out there aren’t really keen on much beyond wars, nukes and oil.

Via: beehive.ivillage

Ever since we found out that boys are actually quite tolerable, we have been analyzing our relationships with them. Right from Grade 1 when the fuzzy headed boy in the back row started throwing pencil shavings at us and we thought it was a sign that he liked us.

But even with the daily dose of Oprah, reading self-help books( Men Are From Mars..., etc.) throughout our teens and spending an equivalent of the GDP of Sweden in phone bills ‘discussing’ our love lives with our girlfriends, we somehow always manage to end up in messy relationships. So what are we doing wrong?

Well Dr. Carolyn Bushong lists these as the seven dumbest relationship mistakes that even smart people make:

1) FORCING INTIMACY: This means bieng in love with love. Men and women who force intimacy try to rush a relationship Men usually push for sexual intimacy, while women comply by having sex too soon and then try to force the emotional intimacy.

FIX IT: Well, try taking the relationship slow: keep dating others until your partner is committed to you, no sex for 5 dates minimum (not three, like they say), and keep the dates down to 1 date a week or less initially.

2) EXPECTING YOUR PARTNER TO READ YOUR MIND: ever complain about how your partner “should know” how you feel and what you want? Come to think of it, it’s not really their fault. It’s just some poor communication.

FIX IT: You need to say it out loud, what you feel, what you want, ask if they get what you’re saying, and then give them an ultimatum (tell them what you’ll do if you don’t get what you asked for). Mind you there’s a very fine line between effective communication and nagging. You’ll have to make a judgment call there.

3) PLAYING THE MARTYR: Martyrs believe that if they are good and sweet and nice and sacrificing, then they will get their reward and others will do good things for them. So they keep over giving and waiting for someone else to make their life better. But it never happens, so they become passive/aggressive and difficult to be around.

FIX IT: This may sound very hard, but try not to give more than you get.

4) THINKING YOU ARE ALWAYS RIGHT: The difference between self-confident and self-righteous is that when someone is truly confident, they are open to others’ ideas. BUT when someone is self-righteous, they are rigid in their thinking and afraid to listen to someone else’s point of view.

Because no one can get close to them People who think they are always right are often admired are seldom loved and cherished.

FIX IT: You must let your partner see your vulnerable side.

5) RESCUING YOUR MATE: Rescuing is a “one-upmanship” behavior that is also “controlling.” So if you are “helping” your mate, you are also looking down on him, and probably controlling their life too. That is why rescuing often causes much more resentment from our partners than gratefulness, which is what we expect, and you end up fighting a lot.

FIX IT: Try to control your own life and let your mate do the same.

6) TAKING YOUR MATE FOR GRANTED: more often than not we get too comfortable and expect our partner to be around forever. We don’t think that we have to spend quality time with them or remind them how we feel about them anymore because we ‘have them’ now, and we just don’t have the time for mushy handholding. But did you know feeling “taken for granted” is the major cause of cheating?

FIX IT: Show love and respect for your partner regularly.

7) LETTING PASSION DIE: People say passion will eventually die in any long-term relationship. It usually does, but that’s because couples allow everything, except sex, to become a priority. The only thing that keeps a “love” relationship different from any other relationship (friend, roommate, family member) is the sexual connection. So if you let that go, you are letting go of “being IN love.”

FIX IT: Try to show him often that you desire him. It may be easier said than done after being married for ten years or so, but you’ll need to work on it won’t you. I mean c’mon you couldn’t keep your hands off him when you first met him.

I know you’re not going to admit that you too have made these mistakes (trust me, no one except my best friend will hear me make a confession about this one either!) but really, these acts, these seemingly harmless little mistakes that we make, that it seems we are conditioned to make, poison some of the most precious relationships in our lives.

Well, now that you know what you are doing wrong, maybe you can salvage some of the love that sweetened your life. After all, you’re worth it!!

Via: content4reprint

So you haven’t really thought of your ex in three weeks. Your friends have started calling you again because your not drowning them with details of how miserable you have been since the break-up and how the sight of your neighbor’s cat lazing in the sun made you think of how cute ‘he’ looked in his sleep, anymore. And you’re even secretly thinking of getting back into the dating scene.

But you still have just about an ounce of doubt whether you’re ready for a new relationship. Well try asking yourself these questions before you invest in a new man:

1) Are you ready to handle the problems and responsibilities of a NEW relationship? You know it’s not going to be a bed of roses JUST because you’re with a new guy.

2) Do you have time to invest in a new relationship? Having a new beau is really glamorous with all the new and exciting things you get to do, not to mention being the centre of attention in your circle of friends (they want ALL the details!). But think about it. Do you feel you have regained the energy to keep it up once the euphoria has subsided?

3) Are you REALLY over your last relationship? Lingering feelings will create problems because you’ll always end up comparing the two partners and relationships.

4) What have you learnt about yourself from previous relationships? Maybe you don’t like a certain type of person but keep falling for exactly that sort. Perhaps you always get conflicted between giving time to your work, your friends and to your guy. This time around, go into it with your priorities all figured out.

Being in a relationship is great. You have a sense of purpose, a sense of belonging. But if you don’t get what you want out of them, the same ties can strangle you and make you fell suffocated, sometimes even making you feel unwanted and unloved, taking a toll on your self-image and self worth.

Don’t let a little loneliness scare you into rushing things with a new guy. After all getting a great guy is only worth it if you’re relaxed enough to enjoy it.

Via: love-lectures

Why? Why? Why? We can repeat this one to ourselves over and over and over but we can never come up with a convincing enough answer.

Why do men lie?

Carolyn Bushong, a Denver-based licensed therapist (had to be a shrink), says:

Men often lie to us or don’t share their real feelings with us because:

1) They want to protect us from their bad behavior or their negative feelings about us. They don’t say anything or they tell us what they think we want to hear because they don’t want to hurt us by what they say or do.

2) Men are afraid of women. They are afraid to use the emotional language because they don’t know the “emotional game” that women play. They’ve learned that sharing feelings will more often than not get them in trouble. They are afraid we will think them weak or insecure.

3) They are often not emotionally in touch with what they are really feeling. They are often thinking logically or defensively.

4) Men are not taught that discussing a relationship can often bring solutions to problem. So they often believe that any issue they have with you is probably a reason to just end the relationship, so they avoid bringing it up.

So how do you keep your man from lying to you?

1) Don’t put your man in a no-win situation, like getting mad if he says something you don’t like, yet also getting mad when he won’t answer the question or placates you. Don’t punish him when you don’t get the answer you want.

2) Learn to remind him that you want the truth before you ask him a question.

3) If you feel he’s lying to you, try and guess what he might be feeling and suggest a way to fix it.

Hmmm... that cleared up a lot of the mess in your head didn’t it? So go on give your man a little benefit of doubt and a lot of love, and trust me you’ll never need to read this one again!!

Via: content4reprint

According to a study conducted by experts at the University of Minnesota, teenaged girls who often read magazine articles about dieting and weight loss appear to be three times as likely to engage in extreme dieting practices, such as vomiting, purging and using laxatives, both as teens and as adults.

In the study, led by Patricia van den Berg, PhD, researchers studied 2,516 Minnesota teens of both sexes for five years, starting when they were about 13-15 years old.

At the study’s start, the teens were surveyed about dieting, body image, and self-esteem. One of the questions posed to them was: “How often do you read magazine articles in which dieting or weight loss [is] discussed?”

Only 14% of the boys reported reading such articles frequently as compared to 44% of the girls.

The teens were also measured for height and weight.

Although the study doesn’t prove that the magazines caused teen girls to go on unhealthy diets or use extreme measures to control their weight, the follow-up survey reported that the girls who had most often read magazine articles about dieting and weight loss five years earlier were the most likely to report unhealthy or extreme dieting practices.

These girls were twice as likely to engage in unhealthy weight-control behaviors — including fasting, skipping meals, and smoking more cigarettes — as girls who never read such articles.

Extreme weight-control behaviors — including vomiting and using laxatives — were three times as common in the girls who reported frequently reading magazine articles about dieting and weight loss, compared with those who never read such articles.

No such patterns were seen in boys.

The researchers wrote:

Frequent reading of magazine articles about dieting/weight loss strongly predicted unhealthy weight-control behaviors in adolescent girls, but not boys, 5 years later.

Though study doesn’t say which magazines the teens read, or whether the weight loss articles promoted healthy or unhealthy dieting, the researchers opine that future studies should include other forms of media, including TV.

Even in the absence of a concrete link between magazine articles and prevalence of unhealthy dieting in teen girls, overlooking the implications of the study could prove to be fatal, stresses Dr. Van den Berg’s team.

Researchers advice parents to keep an eye on what they and their daughters are reading, and healthy behaviors such as regular exercise, healthy snacking, and good portion control must be emphasized.

Parents might also want to limit their teenaged daughters’ exposure to magazines that prize thinness, and teens should put media images in perspective concludes the study which appears in Pediatrics’ January edition.

Via: Livelywomen

It is a problem that is spread across the Islamic world like a dreaded disease. And turkey is no stranger to the inhuman concept of honor killings.

The killing of women and girls by male relatives who think the females have brought shame upon the family’s honor is an atrocity that has plagued Turkey and other Islamic countries for generations. Thousands of women are forced to kill themselves or their slayings are disguised to look self-inflicted in these so-called honor killings.

A significant segment of the Turkish population defines all-important honor in terms of the chastity and obedience of each female member of a family. As “owners” of women, men must defend honor by safeguarding their bodies and sexuality.

A woman who is raped is often blamed for the crime and faces punishment, even death, at the hands of her relatives. Sometimes she is given the “option” of marrying her rapist.

A poll conducted by the U N last year, reported that 17 percent of Turkish men approved of honor killing. The figure isn’t that overwhelming but he fact that many more approved of lesser punishments, one of the most common being the slicing off of a woman’s nose, puts everything back into perspective as we realize the extent of the hopelessness that Turkish women live with.

And though there are laws in place to check these crimes of violence against women, even the courts sometimes show considerable approval of this male-chauvinistic point of view. As recently as 10 months ago, in a typical case, the life sentence of a young man who had killed his sister was substantially reduced because the judges decided he had been “provoked.” He had buried her up to her neck in rocks after she was impregnated in a rape.

However there is some hope in store. The Turkish government is moving into gear. Eager to win approval from the European Union and under pressure from a vigorous women’s movement, the government has launched a major campaign against honor killings, at a level and breadth virtually unheard of in the Islamic world.

The nation’s top Islamic authority has declared honor killing a sin. Addressing a topic that remains largely taboo in many conservative societies, Turkish imams have joined pop music stars and soccer celebrities to produce TV spots and billboard ads condemning all forms of violence against women.

Late last year, jail sentences for men and boys who commit the crime were stiffened, and new provisions in the penal code make it harder for a court to reduce sentences.

In cities and towns with the highest honor-killing rates, rescue teams and hot lines are being set up for women and girls in peril as officials work with advocacy groups and hold town hall meetings.

Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan heads a conservative, Islamist-rooted party. But he has argued for better treatment of women and to condemn honor killings as a scourge that must be eradicated from Islamic societies.

Addressing a gathering of the Organization of the Islamic Conference in November, he said:

We can say these murders are isolated incidents, yet we cannot turn a blind eye to such inhuman acts that are largely the product of ignorance. Discrimination against women is worse than racism. We must reject the treatment of women as second-class beings.

However, the challenge before him is enormous as he has to fight archaic customs based not so much on religion as on deep-seated tradition and feudal clan systems.

Specialists, social workers, and officials involved with the campaign speak of a new era of openness and willingness to confront the problem, but they caution that it will be a long time before attitudes are changed. Advocates say they now better geared for the fight, even though there is no indication yet that the number of killings or forced suicides has dropped.

Fatma Sahin, a lawmaker with the ruling party who oversaw the drafting of a 300-page report on honor killings, says:

On paper, we seem to have achieved a lot. But when we go out into the field, we recognize that a lot more needs to be done.

Alarmed by the soaring number of women seeking help, the government of Diyarbakir opened a shelter for abused women in 2005.

Its location is kept under cover. Behind a metal gate on the forlorn northern outskirts of the city, the low-slung complex houses about 50 women.

Threatening attitudes still persist in many segments of the Turkish population, especially in the Kurdish southeast, but local activism on behalf of women is flourishing.

Canan Hancer Basturk, deputy governor of Diyarbakir sees hope:

This is a part of the country where it is not accepted that women work or travel, where they are not valued as individuals. But girls see the other side, modern Turkey, on TV or in the media, and with the rise in literacy, people’s expectations are rising.

Even though the campaign might have been fuelled by the bid to join the EU, let’s hope it brings relief to the long suffering women of turkey and that the situation improves for women in the rest of the Islamic world as well.

Via: Netscape

New American Cancer Society guidelines have recommended that in order to prevent cervical cancer, females should be vaccinated against human papillomavirus (HPV) when they’re 11 to 12 years old.

The society observed that an estimated 11,150 cervical cancer cases will be diagnosed in the United States, and about 3,670 women will die from the disease in 2007. Almost all cervical cancers are causally related to HPV.

The guidelines are published in the January/February issue of CA: A Cancer Journal for Clinicians, and emphasize that the full potential of the HPV vaccine will be reached only if widespread vaccination is achieved in groups of women who don’t get regular cervical screenings.

In a released statement, Dr. Harmon J. Eyre, lead author of the guidelines and chief medical officer of the American Cancer Society, said:

The vaccine holds remarkable potential, but unless the same populations of women who right now do not have access to or do not seek regular Pap tests gets this vaccine, it will have limited impact.

Also, as HPV vaccination for the prevention of cervical cancer is introduced and promoted, it remains critical that women undergo regular screening even if they have been vaccinated.

The guidelines recommend routine HPV vaccination for females ages 11 to 12 years. Females as young as 9 years may also receive HPV vaccination as well as females ages 13 to 18 years, to make up for a missed vaccine or to complete the vaccination series.

Since there is not enough data to recommend for or against HPV vaccination for women ages 19 to 26, HPV vaccine is not currently recommended for women over age 26 or for males.

The guidelines also say that screening for cervical cancer and pre-cancers should continue in both vaccinated and unvaccinated women.

Besides the New American Cancer Society, other major health groups have also called for widespread vaccination among females in this age group.

Via: Forbes